her slightest hint of a shadow gone with the summer wind

polaroidoflove @ 2009-09-09T00:13:00

2009-09-08T16:19:33Z

秋天

2009-09-08T12:46:08Z

我想我会开始用华文写 “日记“ 吧。
也没有什么特别的原因，只是觉得华文能比较充分地让我表达自己
说起来也奇怪，很多人多么的怕华文。。
我不是来自中国。。
可能是因为从小到大都是讲华文的吧。
我想，要在某一件事做得好，就必须对它有一种人爱的感觉，不是吗？

这么看来，没有人会要读我的博客了
但这不一定是坏事
因为写日子是为了自己不是为了别人。

年终考试就快到了。。。
紧张紧张。

我为一位朋友感到难过，她被伤害我的人伤害了。
我是多么痛恨那个人，希望一脚把他踢下楼。
对一位好朋友的话：我爱你，振作起来吧，你还有我！

polaroidoflove @ 2009-09-05T19:48:00

2009-09-05T11:56:25Z

我们成长得太快，太快了。
脑海里还是印着小学的记忆。
心怀里还是存在着过去的天真。
这世界变化得太快了，我们一直追，追，追 --- 追着什么，你我知道吗？
都是盲目地追，追，追。
到头来，累的人还不是自己？

再多一年的时间，我就要毕业了。
虽然说在南中的时间不是完全完美，
但我也从来没有后悔过。
人生里的悲和喜都是必要的。
若没有悲的经历，那又怎么能了解喜的快乐呢？
我结交了很多好友、认识了新朋友、学到了很多道理也看透了很多事情和人的面目。
我们大家不也就是在演习吗？没有一个人是完全真心的 --- 人都会有犯错、贪恋的时刻。这我了解。

在这里，我也认识了很多给我无数帮助的 “园丁“ 们。

这一切，我不舍得放手。
很多时候，人的本性就是这样 ---- 要失去后，才懂得珍惜。
知足常乐。

paradise

2009-09-04T12:46:23Z

Today marks the last day of term 3, gosh. As the old cliche goes, how fast time flies! Three whole terms with this half-eccentric class! But I guess I do not want the holidays to come, because as fast it comes - it'll be gone and EOYs will be here, and I'll be sec four - which I dont want to be! I love Nanyangggggggggggggggggg.

polaroidoflove @ 2009-09-03T21:44:00

2009-09-03T13:44:58Z

Training was tiring. But I'm very happy :)

SCHOOOL HAS BEEN A BORE.

polaroidoflove @ 2009-09-03T00:04:00

2009-09-02T16:16:42Z

Progress report is out. And it's 12.05am, and Im doing Trigo 2.2 :(

I realized it's so hard to convey to someone that you really care. But I do! I do really care, and I believe that everyone else does too. That's how the world survives and spins you know. If no one gave a damn, we'll all be in outerspace, floating here and there.

Anyway, I liked my progress report's comments, by my results are quite disappointing. Need to BUCKKKK UPPPP!

innocent

2009-09-02T11:32:02Z

Today has surprisingly been quite stressful in its own way although school was generally supposedly quite relaxing. I'm proud of our Herstory work <3 And I'm looking foward to GG/GE assignment because my group is amusing: Jesslene Yuxin Manda.. They were looking at salamandar/salamander (Oh no, Manda I can't spell too) pictures.. Or rather, deformed ones while we were supposed to work on Parental Guidance in GG/GE.

Our topic is funny. It's more limited than something like Crime and Innocence or.. Love.. and forgiveness? But nevermind, might be good to have a narrower scope to be defined :) Parental Guidance reminds me of INotStupid series by Jack Neo. When we typed Parental Guidance into awesome google search, PG rating stuff all came out.

YX: What IS parental guidance?! This is soooo STUPID. There's NOTHING THERE. NO CHILDREN IN GREAT GATSBY!
MT: *gives the haiyahh MT look*
J and A: HAHAHAHA
J: But all adults were once children!!! Hahahaha!
A: Hahahaha!
MT: Yes, thank you! That is right!
YX: Pshh.

I love my deskies <3 Jo and Manda <3 We are always lost in Math and stoning and we have random talks too :) Oh which reminds me we haven't gotten our backrow seat shot taken! ...

Ok, I shall seek comfort in my bed :D

inspiration

2009-08-31T16:08:53Z

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY

Teachers day this year has been quite high :D But I still preferred last year's! I think watching the performance at bird's eye view is the best, there's an aerial view! I didn't go back to NYPS this year, for various reasons. But nevertheless, celebrations in school was great.

Frosted Manda's cupcakes for her in the morning and it was half a flop because we kept dripping and Crystal kept squealing (hahaha) and most of the frosting looks like a total failure. Then we will use our hands to keep the frosting on the cupcake, it's damn gross. (That's why I told MT and MC that they wouldn't wanna know how we did the frosting) But the frosting tastes like yoghurt! :)

Class party was funnn, there was an exploding Zappel drink! And alot of foooood, and music and random hugs. I think I hugged a million people that day plus Ms Tan and Ms Chua :) There were many photos taken too, though I dont know where a chunk of them went. Mrs Chang told the memo pad that I gave her was a scrubber. Oh gosh!

The concert was quite cool, although some performances gave me the creeps because it was pretty corny. The Noose one was hilarious! I love the Chamber of Secrets :D Teachers' nominations are the same few people, but they deserve it :) Ms Tan was most inspiring <3 Agreeed! And Mr Lee most branded hahaha :) He could read the brand name before it was even revealed!

Was contemplating where to go after the performance, because Kylie managed to guiltbomb me. But I realized I dont want to see some people, so didn't go back afterall. I think I'll be back next year.

I'm glad to have such great teachers :D I realized I miss alot of them.. Cailaoshi :(
Ms Mok.. Mrs O.. Zhoulaoshi, Mrs Chua (..I dont think I'll ever get to apologize to her), Zhuanglaoshi, Ms Chooi hahaha I still call her Ms Chooi..

stars

2009-08-31T16:06:50Z

Am I willing to fake up a good show in front of you, just so to make you happy? I can, if I want to - but ultimately, will that help anything? The only thing that will come about as a result of this act is just more pretending. Aren't we ALL sick of pretending, to be people we're not - to be happy when we're not. Isn't it tiring just to smile when the last thing you can do is smile, I know it's tiring - and I want it to stop as much as you do. I want the day whereby a genuine laugh can be brought between us.

But guess what, this is getting a little too tiring. I can give you all the sweets I can in the world, but what I can I do if you refuse to swallow them, I can't force it down your throat, you know? We all can do the same, but it ain't gonna help if you don't help yourself! I want to tell you so badly, to put that feeling aside. It definitely is hard to do so, and I probably will never understand that feeling... And I wil not attempt to say I understand, because I don't. But I just want to say that many things are skimmed on the surface, many friends sometimes just means more empty holes.

polaroidoflove @ 2009-08-31T00:18:00

2009-08-30T16:19:45Z

Trainings have been tiring. But I've been very happy!

(And muddy)

:)

polaroidoflove @ 2009-08-30T21:27:00

2009-08-30T13:46:01Z

Sunday. I would very much like to repose in the tranquility of the night, away from home. I would want to sit in the same place our batch was stranded in during last year's chalet, in the bus parking lot in Sentosa. Everything's silent, except for the foreign workers working on the monorail. 7-eleven was open, and when we walk in, the automated bell detects our presence and rings, bringing some life to the quiet, dead place where everyone lies asleep.

That is why I spent the whole night up reading magazines and watching the flowers sway to the gentle night breeze. Because it was time to sort out my thoughts. I don't have time to do this at night, or every night, due to the fact I usually sleep at unearthly hours and also because I will fall straight to sleep normally. I enjoyed just sitting there, on the bench, and everything is at a standstill. Everything is different at night, at 3am at night. The usually speeding monorail is immobile, at the rentless hands of the workers - it looked almost tired too. The lamps were off, the paths which tourists cycle on - empty - almost echoing their laughters from the day. If you listen closely, you can hear the sea at work, in and out and in and out, swish swish swish.

Eventually, it becomes a battle between myself and time. I yearned to watch the crack of dawn, the dew joyfully lying on the green leaves, and peeping at the sun's bald head emerging from the sea. But we were in Singapore - so just walking along the dimly lit paths down to the further end of Sentosa hoping to catch a glimpse of that orange ball coming out was enough. Even though we never saw it, the sand that filled the cracks of my toes were enough.

The little thrills in life are very enjoyable. OBS was one, no? I liked sleeping in our tents, thinking that it might be blown away anytime or some wild mad dog might decide to feast on our bags. Or just washing out cutleries in the seas, almost falling in yet pulled back by a kind hand of a watchmate yet ultimately still having oily cutleries. I loved reading the map, placing the compass on that laminated white sheet and taking our own paths, venturing into something we have never stepped upon before. And on the way, greeting the little bits of nature that whacked in you your face, but knowing someday all these trees will be felled and made into examination papers. The truth, sometimes, stings and stinks.

I wonder what I'll grow up to be. But wondering, is just another way of setting ambition, perhaps a little too realistic to match up to the truth. We were having a conversation about JC subject choices, with people in 314, and it reminded me so much of choosing my subject combination in Secondary 2. After much deliberation and amendments, I ended up in HP. And now, I'm faced with the question if I'm to make the same choice of HP in JC? And what will that amount to? I have always imagined myself to be a teacher, but now I'm not sure. Maybe real estate, political geography, disorders studies, psychology, editor, government worker (Nexus?), or something that will make sure of Geography. I did seriously consider special education teacher, but I guess I'm not meant for that..? I might not have the patience I need.

Chasing pavements;

wishes

2009-08-29T15:27:17Z

Lit Sem was fun :D I like the VJC's performance of the baby which was morbid and dark, but nonetheless enjoyable. The song was stuck in my head and Kylie and I kept singing it to Yujie :) The concurrent workshops was cool too, C10 - Rhythmic poetry. Our facilitator is cool, graduated from Cambridge and doing her masters in UK. The poem our group composed pales in comparison to other groups' but we had fun anyway.

The project presentations and stuff were quite boring but going to LT was a good choice! Parodies.. of (I heard) Macbeth, Oedipus and Lear. I caught the Lear one hahaha it was funny funny funny. Maybe Lear seemed to have lost its essence, but a good laugh never hurts! :D

I went to Plaza Sing alone to get stuff and I ended up walking around for 3 hours. I like that feeling of walking alone, with my earphones dug into my ears. Some kind of solitude in walking alone, but something that I need and enjoy, for time to think and time to observe. It did feel abit lonely when I looked at people, but oh whatever, it's a phase.

cant you see

2009-08-28T15:35:10Z

I'm hooked on You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift!

Well, at least I'm not an addict of Gee or G-dragon/Heartbreaker :)

Doing herstory scrapbook today after school was fun <3 BURNING PAPER IS EXCITING ^^ Everytime we see the paper burn, part of it die, turn to grey ashes and crumble on the ground or when we see the paper catching fire and burning far beyond what we want - that's the fun. Tore our blank pages, and ordered KFC and played youtube songs :D I loved the company :D Kylie Nicole Celine Charis <3

MPP debate was quite cool and stuff :)

i cant tell you something that ain't real

2009-08-27T13:14:01Z

I realized I've been placing myself in denial, living in a whimsical bubble of fantasy - I've been deceiving myself when I think that people are on the same waveline.But no, that's the the way it works. Maybe right from the start, I should have known? Now this paroxysm of helplessness and perhaps even annoyance is overwhelming me. Hard as this might be to believe, I am offering my help - in the most absurd maybe, if you want to say so. But I'm.

been there done that

2009-08-26T13:49:55Z

This is an oxymoron. The humanitarian side of me starts to kick in because of the severity of the situation, but I have nothing to say to myself. I just hope that this effort I make will be worth the run, and not just another act I'm trying to play up to. Because if it's so, I am really seriously washing my hands of her problems. This will be the last effort I make to help.

Think big, think big - that will be my motivation to the truth. I'm scared, and afraid of being misled by my own judgments to tell the truth. I know I WANT to, and I think I CAN, but being me, being a worrywart, I'm worrying. As usual. But it means I'll be extra careful in my divulging of information. It's gone far beyond what I can control.. But when you sink so much into stories that you weave, you lose it. You lose yourself in a dark, black hole. I've been there.

coldest story

2009-08-25T15:31:39Z

I hope things get on track soon, because I've been way off since a time I can't remember. Interpersonal relationships are so complicating, and it seems to be only worsening with each step into a new day. People who were once such chummy friends now are both vehemently disliking each other. And I don't like to be sandwiched in the middle - but I'm, and I would like to say I dont want to take sides, but that would mean remaining nice on both fronts - it'll turn out to be somewhat two-face, no?

On another note, I can't understand or comprehend such ambitious dreams of wanting to win everytime. There are people, who just can't lose, cannot not be the best, and has to win in evereything. And when they lose or are behind in the line, they want to shift to another line to move up to the front again. I'm not making sense.

Training these days have been quite productive. Ms Peh told some sense into us. I caught for Jingyi the other day - it's been about, what - 6 months since I last caught? Maybe that's why the knee guard left some abrasion as a love mark on the back of my knee for me. Did 12 sets of fence batting today, my left shoulder hurts. We got back Adv Lit paper - not too disappoi

polaroidoflove @ 2009-08-24T20:07:00

2009-08-24T13:26:38Z

Almost the whole team 09 + 08 + rosalind + kim + teachers in charge + ms chin

<3

deep

2009-08-23T04:10:34Z

empty streets

2009-08-21T13:35:07Z

Her 3-inch peep-toe heels barely touched the surface of the concrete
before it was lifted - taking another step.
With fingers wrapped tightly around her steaming low-fat latte
the other hand held her black briefcase.
Walking down the streets in the drizzles
small little water patches formed on her starched black suit.
"Shit." she cursed, picking up her pace.
Faster,
Faster, and
faster she went.
And so, past the old, begging lady she went
Past the weeping, lost child she went
coming to her office tower,
throwing her half-drunk coffee into the bin
Straightened out her suit
Looked at her silver small watch,
"Whew I made it in time."

polaroidoflove @ 2009-08-19T21:14:00

2009-08-19T13:51:00Z

I haven't been updating for ages, that's because I'm up to better cause! In other words, I've been rather busy. Maybe due to overload and sudden increase in workload, I've fallen sick (again). Was sick since yesterday, but I couldn't not go to school because of prize-giving so now I'm suffering the consequences of that.

First and foremost, YSTTE was a success <3
A huge success, if you wanna be specific :)

Being a natural pessimist, I was worrying to the ends of the world about every single detail of the prize-giving. To others, or maybe Ms Teng, it may seem like unecessary worrying. But to me, I think that is what has enabled me and us to look into every small detail of this project, because of my nature for worrying it'll fail - which results in conscientious planning, and ultimately success. Till today, and now, I have never regretted worrying so much for prize-giving. It wasn't unecessary for myself, it is what pushes me forward.

For the prize-giving ceremony, plans have been made as early as the June holidays. Back then, what was proposed was a simple affair of distrbuting money in the school hall. That idea has now conceptualized into a grand, posh one in the school's much respected auditorium with 400 secondary three students, completed with VIPs from various supporting organizations. Of course, I worried if this was realistic and plausible. But yesterday, when I sat on the second floor with Michelle gazing down on the ceremony, I have to say: I'm exceedingly proud of how everything has turned out ot be.

Nothing comes without hardwork. I believe, and in my personal set of values, the importance of planning. I need to have a plan, to follow it strictly and work with rules. I'm not the most flexible person you meet, but I can try. And having said that, one thing I cannot stand the most is last minute changes. Planning, as I mentioned, is important - and has surely been a vital part of this prize-giving. From the numerous email correspondences with Nexus, NEB, the school management, our teachers in charge, the LDs, the English department, the NE Comm, all these reflect the hardwork placed into this.

I remember having even problems locating a venue and date for our prize-giving ceremony, and being reprimanded by Mr P Tan. Maybe that was an awakening lesson to me, that knocked me in the head, but I wasn't going to let everything fail at my hands. Then, came the many other meetings with Mr Tan, phone calls with Ms Teng and Mrs Tan, Rosalind and Ms Chin and so on. It is impossible, and I use the absolute term impossible, for me to describe and put to words the arduous journey I've had in this, together with the rest of the team. But rest assured it has never been a easy job to plan something like that. Nevertheless, arduous as it may have been, it has certainly been one of the most enlightening and brilliant planning process.

Just last week, I spent almost every break time in that English Dept meeting room with Mrs W, Ms T and Mrs T. I have been carrying a Mickey Mouse file around with me since last week - that is because it contains all the documents needed for prize-giving ceremony. I remember drawing out a document from the file, excited - waiting to begin the meeting for the day. I loved it when something is settled. So that was how my breaks were spent.

Even till the last minute drawing close to the prize-giving ceremony, Charis Jessica and I were still in the very same room re-editting our emcee script, trying as much as possible to draw in all the details. The planning for prize-giving has also proved to me how efficient someone can be if she sets her heart to it. I would never have thought of drafting an emcee speech. But Jessica Charis and I did in 2 hours. It has also taught me, to reach out to people. I had to call all 29 winners to inform them of prize-giving, to attend to queries and people with last minute changes - none of which I ever set out thinking I'd do. I definitely didn't think I can even speak to a stranger, let alone calling 29 of them whom I have never even met in my life. But I did.

It seems to me that saying anything would be an underestimate and understatement of the amount of hardwork WE placed into it. From the times we took 3 changes of public transport just to get down to Nexus for 29 signatures by COL Lim, from the time we had those meetings in the room, from the time I actually had to be in 3 places at one time during the prize-giving, from the time of this and that and everything - Egoistical as this may sound, it's only something we understand.

Having said that I'm exceedingly proud of our team, I have to say I was glad of my role in the prize-giving. What I mean is, I'm glad to be the backstage person, at least in this scenario. I would rather be the one planning, organizing and making sure everything goes right, rather than upstage emceeing or serving and talking to the VIPs. I respect all the VIPs and am glad that they arrived, but I think I'm just not the person who can strike off a conversation well with VIPs of honorable mention - I would much prefer to talk to people I normally liase or interact with - that's my disadvantage and weakness. But nonetheless, Mr Puvan and COL Lim were both great people to talk to! I spoke a little with them, and I'm impressed by them - alot! :)

I had a great time, too, talking to Rosalind, Kim, Mdm Chin, and the teachers. Mdm Chew was really nice too - she kept reassuring me it's fine for her to sit behind, haha :) Besides that, I was speaking to Cheryl, top winner in Cat A, and I found out that Mrs Tay-Yip Fong Ling is her teacher! Gosh, and she told Cheryl she knows me! I was shell-shocked. Even got a picture with Cheryl to show Mrs Tay! :) We took a group photo with Nexus, NEB and the teachers too :) When we took that picture I felt an overwhelming sense of pride - of our success <3

What was stuck on my mind was Mrs Tay though. She's now with Endeavour Pri - a new primary school. And guess who's the principal of the school? Mr Chia Soo Keng. He was NCPS' principal. It's great to know that Mrs Tay and Mr Chia stuck together and that both are on board to lead the same school. As I'm sad to say that NCPS has lost a great brilliant teacher and a wonderful principal, I feel happy for Endeavour that they have received such great leadership and teacher in their school. Mrs Tay was a great (lack of vocab) teacher, she appreciated her students for who they are and never looked down on me but instead recognized my (perhaps nonexistant) capabilities to excel - she pushed me on, encouraged me to pursue what I wanted, placed me in the Gifted programme with her abilities. I still remember the potrait of her that I drew for her, I will never forget it. Similarly, I will never forget and will eternally be grateful for her teachings and enlightening. I hope she has a good time over at Endeavour. Similarly, Mr Chia was a great principal albeit fierce. But nonetheless, great.

What I also remember is the carefree life we all used to lead. My P2 - P3 years in NC were great. I was recognized, had great friends (despite the I dont friend you trend) and people loved us for who we were. Now, I'm not so sure anymore. What I once got to experience in innocence is no longer here - and I miss the times where we can just have no worries, return home to watch kids central and not have to travel 1 hour to reach school. Sometimes, I thought I will be happier in a humbler school, one that didn't have its name publicized almost to every ear, without having to withstand the "Nanyang ah? Smart la." each time - sometimes, I know and I think I would have been happier in just a school nearer to my house, without all the projects I've endured. I know I would have fitted right in.

I just miss being a child sometimes - it's not the work now that scares me - it's the people. I slowly am opened up to the ugliness of human relations, of the truth of backstabbing, and the complicatead human relations. It scares me you know. After opening the door a little, sneaking a peep into the real working life through YSTTE, it has caused me to want to very badly shut that door. I wonder too, as Ms Teng asks me, if I'm learning about all these a little too soon? On hindsight, it might not be so. I'm fifteen of age now, and 5 more years - I will be out there - out there, fighting for my life.

I think that's about it for today, but before I end my long post, I would really love to thank people who have helped me along the way for the success of our prize-giving ceremony. There are many people, and I really hope I have not left anyone out.

The team, Nexus - Rosalind, Kim, NEB - Ms Chin, Ms Teng, Mrs Tan, 314, Mr Tan, Ms Agnes Ng, Mrs W, Mrs Ting, :)

florida flashing fire

2009-08-15T06:58:42Z

The weekend is finally here! I think I need a break from everything...But it seems not to be so. Things have been rather disorganized and messy, but like the eye of the hurricane, everything is pretty calm down. I feel blessed with the fact that many people have been helping, if not: tolerating, me in the past week. The past week was one of the maddest moments, coupled with 315803851 documents. I knew I had to be in super-efficient mode and Im glad my body agrees with me and hence, most things are settled now.

I'm looking forward to prize-giving ceremony. Scared as I'm it might flop, prize-giving will be a tangible representation of the hardwork placed into this project. The word limit for LA SIA reflections is 600 words. I'm trying to find a way to squeeze 5 months of hardwork, and the hearts that we placed into YSTTE, in 600 words. Proving to be a really difficult task. Penning down the thoughts of YSTTE is also another difficult task. There are so many things I want to say, but can't put to words (as always..) and I'm afraid what I write will sound the opposite of what I intend to say (as always, again). But I feel very touched and heartwarmed when I read the team's reflections that they sent in! I'm glad, ego as this sound, that I didn't screw up as badly as the team leader - it felt great knowing that.. And that the team enjoyed the journey as much as I did <3

All right, there're actually many people I would like to thank right now.. If not I would never have made it till today - still standing.

THE Team for being a great team. We started in such a disorganized fashion, now I'm so proud of us that we've grown so much together. There is probably nothing we cannot conquer and I'm happy to say that I love you guys :D When I needed help you guys were always there and I know many things are of very bad schedules and I have my disorganized moments too.. Things can be pretty unreasonable, but we worked out fine. We have our conflicts, our disagreements but we get pass it well - that's what a team is like <3 Thanks for pulling me through the shit times that we all went together!

314: For always encouraging me 'cos you guys knew what demands people make at us and for understanding our plight! And of course, for agreeing to help out on Tuesday - I can never be more grateful! :)

Nexus/NEB: Of course, besides the money thanks for believing in our project. Certainly, without Nexus we would never even have begun on this journey. Thanks, esp to Rosalind for bringing us through the hair-pulling times and for never giving up on us even though our proposals were certainly not the very best.

It has also been great to see Mdm Chin LS again! :)

Ms Teng/Mrs Tan: I know we placed large amt of stress on both of you because many times we had to approach you for various situations we're caught in. But thanks thanks thanks so much for always helping us, being on our sides and the long meetings you have with us - thanks for the time and your patience.. I'm sure many times we have tested your patience, but thanks for holding it all back :)

Batchies: I know for the past week I have been neglecting training and times with you guys - am really sorry about that and thanks for understanding :)

polaroidoflove @ 2009-08-13T00:10:00

2009-08-12T16:13:26Z

This feels so SURREAL. All I can say is that if you don't even know me that well, then don't do things that reflect otherwise. Because it will only backfire, as it is now. Would also appreciate it if people stopped placing judgment based on one-time experiences.

Otherwise, we got back some Blocks results. Can't say I'm extremely happy but am satisfied. Not very so with Geog... (Ms Yip was totally hinting I did badly at the start oh well) but Geog SIA saves the day :) Math was all-right and Chem was all-right. I never ever want to get back Alit in my life hahahaha Gloucestor Yada yada yada - I want chinese back!

Poetry storm is over, HURRAY ^^
Apparently Dr Carey says.. I'm really into the poem.. Okay.. so I feel for dead soldiers. Oh well. !
Actually I'm supposed to be super busy now! - Havent done chem 21, and alot of YSTTE stuff - but oh well!

poppies blow

2009-08-11T15:41:58Z

School begins.

I'm really anal and OCD when it comes to emcee script writing - I have to colour code everything and copy and paste everything nicely. But turns out Ms Teng is changing whole chunks of it. Oh well. Reminder: Real adult working life.

I basically almost slept throughout the whole day - especially training. I spent both breaks with Ms Teng and Mrs Tan in the meeting room piled with YSTTE prize-giving stuff to settle. Almost died with brain explosion. But got someee things sorted out, and more meetings to come - I believe I'll see them every break - hurray..!

But they were pretty good company minus the troubles. Had fun laughing over weird random things, people and moments. Oh well, hope this works out and that I will eventually reach the light at the end of the tunnel like Ms Teng says. Today was torturous in a way too - all the teachers told us how we did - but none wanted or could give back the papers. The most sadistic case was LXH.

I couldnt think of anything but Chem when Ms Tan had that face (serious like nothing) and told us she was very, very disappointed with us. I felt mildly touched when she said how much she enjoyed teaching our class - but all that was wiped out in one sentence when she said she was very disappointed and that we did badly (according to her expectations, but still.) The worse was, I thought the paper was okay. Easy, to put it more accurately. I'm so afraid it'll turn out screwed.. Because I didn't expect it to! I think that's worse than knowing you'll screw up.

Couldn't concentrate, and then Mrs Chang walked in also telling us how badly we did. She was trying to be comforting, saying how blocks dont matter as much - because there's EOY - didn't find that particularly comforting. She said our class average is 40.......!!! I want to scream. Fail fail fail.

Chinese she said those who did well did very well those who did badly did very badly. Highest 90+ lowest 40+. How now brown cows, I'm inevitably worried, given the big worryfreak I'm. Kylie + Esther kept bugging her and she was halfamused but all the more didn't want to show them their marks -.- Did the filing stuff with her at the back, SIA stuff settled and then we found out her daughter's name - which is way better than XXX's daughter's name, please. Yi ning..I like that name :)

We prepared for poetry storm today too, in the library - epic failz. Went up to print stuff with Charis - her poem, to be exact. Got down to first floor and earned a queer look from Ms Teng, before we began our recital rehearsal. When Jo went up, she forgot some parts. Hyo did perfectly well :) Charis' one was epic, Ms Teng made her walk out like 5 times and she burst out in laughter halfway through. I went up the first thing I saw was Kylie's "ADORING" face, and oh my Gosh, I just couldn't stop laughing. !!!!! Lauren's one too..Ms Teng kept making her redo she redid so many times saying the title so many times she actually said,"Two roads not taken by Robert Frost" instead of "The road not taken by Robert Frost" I think that was it - we all were tickled with laughter :) Even she was laughing like mad. There were funny parts when she mixed up the lines too, Charis too and myself hahaha. The best part was Kyl and Cel's part. When they started looking at each other, oh gosh, they just couldn't stop laughing - the rest of us too. (!)

IH was very fun too I forgot what we were talking about - but we kept going off tangent and laughing and laughing :) Did emcee script after school then went for training - almost died at training - did like 10 sets of batting. My eyelids almost closed. I need sleep.

Bye world.

california rest in peace

2009-08-10T13:05:14Z

Came back from Esther's BBQ cum sleepover! :D It was funshizz despite the fact that I waited alone like a hobo at YCK mrt for 1 hour! Or maybe I should have just went along to the Pink Picnic..But Hyo came along and we hobo-ed together before the rest of the pinkies came and we went off to her house together! They were super crazy and shouting and singing (and dancing to SORRY). Gosh...!!!

The walk to her house was sooooooooo long. And then we explored her super cool house (!!!) and then went to the rooftop for the BBQ :) We sat in a circle for a "HEART-2-HEART" talk which turned out to be funnyyyy and nothing heart-to-heart - was about first impressions, people and some bitching - but most of it was funny anyway. Then camwhore with the light (inside joke) hehehe and we went down to watch Dead Poet's - COOL STUFF, went home with Cel to bathe and didn't catch the ending! NOW IM LONGING 4 IT *dies*

Went back and Char Cel and I stayed over at Esther's - we played Rockband DDR and HSM DDR (OMG EPIC) and we decided to watch History Boy's!! AT 1.30AM. Best. It was good show, honest! But I was so tired I just shut and die and sleep. Woke up late the next morning, ate muffins and we called for Macs. Played more rockband and watched CSI and HOUSE <3

Fun fun fun, wished I could just stay forever and slack there forever :(

Now Im super tired - shall do Trig0zx.

look how far we've come

2009-08-09T04:26:04Z

Hyo's house is veryyyy cool and her parents are cool her furniture is cool. When we stepped in, everyone was in awe and kept saying how cool her houes is :) Had loads of fun yesterday! Thanks dudes <3 We watched persepolis (is it?) which was interesting, freaky and sad but I didn't like the ending... Then we went DUNKING ^^ We played for damn long before we got chased away and it was super funnn - shan't reveal details on what we did though hehehe. I love my life after blocks! (even though it's plagued by YSTTE BUT WATEVAZ I GOT ALL THE THINGS DONEZZZ EFFICIENCY FTW)

OKAY Bb I'm off to Esther's later :D

YSTTE is such a happy and sad thing! But like Ms Teng said, C'EST LA VIE! So I shall take it well :) And que sera, sera yeah! I'm really glad of the replies about prize-giving and I really hope everything will work out after 100000% hard work I placed it in - I've never worked so hard for a project that is not even graded or whatsoever~ And like Ms Teng said (again), I should be happy! I was so happy that I sent her an incoherent sms of omg-s and smileys :D But she was nice about it :D Yay!

The best part about reading nonfiction.. The kind I read.. is the epilogue. When you read about everything, the imperfections that still linger - thats the kind of reality in life, nothing is ever pefect - there arent perfect endings - but in such imperfections, you find the most beautiful perfected ending. It wraps everything up so well, so tight together, everything is still screwed but so much has changed. Beautiful imperfect perfections. Heartwarming.